Shpadoinkle / Shpadoinkle (Reprise) / That's All I'm Asking For! / When I Was on Top of You / Trapper Song / This Side of Me / Let's Build a Snowman! / Let's Build a Snowman! (Reprise) / That's All I'm Asking For! (Reprise) / Hang the Bastard! / Shpadoinkle (Finale) / Shatter Proof! / Don't Be Stupid

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shpadoinkle.txt (5Kb)

The sky is blue and all the leaves are green.
The sun's as warm as a baked potato.
I think I know precisely what I mean,
When I say it's a shpadoinkle day.

And as I ride with my girl,
She's my best friend in the whole world!
We'll move along, set our goals high
With eyes full of hope as we aim for the...

Sky is blue and all the leaves are green.
My heart's as full as a baked potato.
I think I know precisely what I mean,
When I say it's a shpadoinkle day!
When I say it's a happy-go-moinkaly lucky shpadoinklely...dayyyyyy.

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It's a long, long way for us to go,
But if we don't try we'll never know.
Stay optimistic, set our goals high,
There's nothing we can't do if we aim for the...

Sky is blue and all the leaves are green.
The air's as pure as a baked potato.
We think we know exactly what we mean,
When we say it's a shpadoinkle day.

When we say it's a shpadoinkle day!

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[Noon] I know that there's more to life than women.
I just can't seem to figure out what else there is.
I don't need it every night, every morning would be just fine.
A little sex, that's all I'm askin' for.
That's all I'm askin' for!

[Miners] That's all he's askin' for!

[Noon] Something I can test, a gal would suit me best.
I got a thing to use, I know what to use it for.
A girl I can love, and kiss, and hold, and fu...
That's all I'm askin' for!

[Bell] Now I don't wanna be rich for the sake of women.
I wanna be rich for the sake of our lord.
Enough to build a church where everyone can come.
Enough for the lord, that's all I'm askin' for.
That's all I'm askin' for!

[Miners] That's all he's askin' for!

[Humphrey] It ain't a lot to ask.
I'm sure we'll get it fast.
A friend of mine was mining and he made a lot of cash.
He made a gazillion dollars, how is that!
That's all I'm askin' for!

[Miller (intervenes shouting)] He did not make a gazillion dollars!
[Humphrey] You wanna ask him?! I'll tell you where he lives!

[Miners] That's all he's askin' for.
[Humphrey] That's all I'm askin' for.

[Swan] We're tired of being sick.
We're sick of being poor.
We've had a little luck,
Now we want a little more.

[Miners] Enough so we'd never do anything anymore.
That's all we're askin' for!

[Swan] Hey, what about you Mr. Miller, what are you askin' for?
[Miller] No, no, I don't sing.
[Bell] Aw come on, if you can talk, you can sing.

[Miller] I just wanna make enough so I can open up a shop of my own and go on with my family trade.
[Bell] Well there, that's great. What is it you do?
[Miller] I'm a butcher.
[Noon] You're a butcher?!
[Miller] Yeah.

[Packer] I've never had much in the way of friends or fam'ly.
My horse is the only pal I've ever known.
I'd like to build a ranch in the Rocky Mountain air.
A home for us, that's all I'm askin' for!

[Miners] That's all we're askin' for! That's all we're askin' for!
We're tired of being sick. We're sick of being poor.
We've had a little luck, now we want a little more.
[Noon] A girl I can love!
[Bell] A church!
[Packer] A ranch!
[Miller] A store.
[Miners] That's all we're askin', that's all we're askin', that's all we're askin' for!

Ahahahaa!!...Shpadoinkle!!..hahahaa!!

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She'll never know what she meant to me.
Whenever I was with her I was always as gentle as I could be.
And now I don't know why, but she's gone away.
And I'll just have to stand on my own two legs.

Your eyes, your smile
Made my little life worthwhile.
There's was nothing I couldn't do
When I was on top of you.

I'd pull her hair, and she'd know to stop.
And when she'd look behind her, I'd always be there.
And now I don't know why, but she,
she's gone.
And all I can do is try to carry on.

Your eyes, your smile
Made my little life worthwhile.
The sky was a lot more blue,
When I was on top of you.
When I was on top of you.

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I can catch a helpless animal,
Skin it with my bare hands.
I wake up muddy,
And I go to bed bloody,
'Cause I'm a trappin' man.

I can brave the nastiest weather.
Weather!
Even if it's 80 below.
Below!
My pa was an elephant, but that's irrelevant.
My ma was an Eskimo.

I eat rabbits' heads for breakfast.
Breakfast!
With beaver butt on the side.
The side!
My mind's magnificent and my body no different.
I'm full of trapper pride!

Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
Rip their fur, cut their skin with my knife.
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
One thing's for sure, there's nothing like a trappin' life!

I'm badder than the baddest sailor!
Sailor!
I make love to women 10 feet tall.
Good lord!
I've got a chest of wonder and balls of thunder.
I can break right through a wall.

I love the sound of metal,
Metal!
Snapping on an animal's head.
Ka-chink!
Sometimes they scamper
Sometimes they whimper
But they always end up dead.

(Interlude by Nutter)
I've always wanted to be somebody
Who didn't get pushed around.
Now that I'm a trapper,
I'm the meanest guy around.
(Frenchy interrupts)
Second meanest!

The blood of a fresh-cut rodent
Is as sweet as brandy wine.
And the brain of an antelope
Tastes like cantaloupe.
What a yummy life!

Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
Rip their fur, cut their eyes out with my knife.
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

(Song is cut short, due to the trapper trio's inability to sing in corresponding scales)
[Noon] Oh, Stop!
[Humphrey] That's sick.
[Frenchy] I agree. Nutter, you were singing in the wrong key!
[Nutter] No I wasn't. It was Loutzenheiser. I was singing in E_b minor.
[Frenchy] The song's in F# major!
[Bell] I think they're the same thing. I mean, E_b is the relative minor of F#.
[Frenchy] No, it isn't. The relative minor is 3 half-tones down from the major, not up!
[Noon] No, it's 3 down. Like A is the relative minor of C major.
[Loutzenheiser] But isn't A# in C major?
[Bell] Wait, are you singing Mixolydian scales, or something?
[Frenchy] A# is tonic to C major. It's the 6!
[Humphrey] No it isn't!
[Swan] Well, it'd be like a raised 13th if anything.
[Frenchy] Oh well. You guys are just a bunch of loser diggers anyhow!
[Humphrey] Oh see. You know we're right!

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What is this magic I feel?
Seems no matter where I am, it finds me.
Puts the memories of hope inside me.
Makes me warm once more.

He's just a quiet man,
But his eyes can see right through me.
Is it only that I feel pity?
Could it be something more?

Safe as an island,
Far off to sea.
I'd almost forgotten
This side of me.

What is this magic I feel?
Thought this mushy stuff was below me.
Could it be he is the one to show me
What compassion is for?

Safe as an island,
Far off to sea.
I'd almost forgotten
This side of me.
Perhaps I'm not the cold bitch
I pretended to be.
I'd almost forgotten this side of me.

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Sometimes, the world is black.
And tears run from your eyes.
And maybe we'll all get really sick.
And maybe we'll all die.
So...

Let's build a snowman!
We can make him our best friend.
We can name him Tom or we can name him George!
We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall.
Snowman!

He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view.
If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you.

So, let's build a snowman!
We can make him our best friend.
We can name him Bob or we can name him Beowulf!
We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall.
Snowman!

Hey!
(Tapdance solo)

He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view.
If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you.
Snowman! Snowman! Snowman!

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Let's build a snowman!
We can make him our best friend.
[Miller] Shut the fuck up, Swan!
We can name him Shannon! Shannon Wilson Bell!
[Miller] Swan, shut the fuck up!
We can make him tall or we can make him not so tall...
(Swan is interrupted by a bullet to the head)

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That's all we're askin' for.
That's all we're askin' for.
Forget our piece of pie,
We just don't wanna die.

We've had some rotten luck,
We can't take it anymore.
We don't care if we're forever poor.
That's all we're askin' for.

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Hang the bastard, hang him high.
Hoist his body to the sky.
It's as nice as a day can be.
Won't you come to the hanging with me?

Hang the bastard, hang him high.
Hoist his body to the sky.
It's as nice as a day can be.
Won't you come to the hanging with me?

Hang the bastard, hang him well.
Send his sorry soul to hell.
When his neckbone snaps we'll know.
When the cannibal won't be killing anymore.

His face will turn red,
Then purple, then blue.
We'll watch from up here
To get a good view.
And when his eyes bug out we'll know,
It's the end of him
And the end of the show!

So hang the bastard, hang him with cheer.
We'll make some hot dogs
And drink a few beers.
And when his tongue rolls out we'll know,
It's the end of the show
And we all can go home!

But not till we hang the bastard, hang him here.
The most exciting thing this town has seen in years.
When his body stops jerking we'll know,
It's the end of him, it's the end of him,
It's the end of him,
And the end of the show.

[Cowbell solo]

So hang the bastard, hang him high.
Kiss his guilty butt goodbye.
It's as nice as a day can be.
Won't you come to the hanging with me?

His veins will pop out all over his head.
We'll tickle his armpits to make sure he's dead.
And when his tongue rolls out we'll know,
It's the end of him and we all can go home!

But not till we
Hang the bastard, hang him high.

Hoist his body to the sky.
When his body stops jerking we'll know,
It's the end of him, it's the end of him,
It's the end of him!
Let's get on with the show!

Hooray!

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The sky is blue and all the leaves are green.
My heart's as full as a baked potato.
I'm sure you know exactly what I mean,
When I say it's a shpadoinkle day.

When we say it's a shpadoinkle day!

Note: This song was originally going to be included during the bar scene where Packer confronts Frenchy. You can purchase the Shatter Proof! CD Single from the CRAPstore.

Note 2: Do you own the Shatter Proof! CD Single? Would you like liner notes? Here ya go! Right-click, Save target as... because the image file is huge (1.20 Mb)

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Push me if you think I give a damn.
You got the wrong idea, man!
Think I can't hold my own. I don't need her. I don't need anybody.

So this is how it is, huh?
This is what I get for tryin.
Wrong man in the wrong place at the wrong time - that's me!

So this is how it goes, huh?
My reward for getting through.
I've had it bad, but I'm still doing fine.

I'm shatterproof!
There ain't nothin you can show me.
I'm still standing tall, so you all can blow me.
Know what I'm saying,
What I'm saying is true.
After what I've been through...
I'm shatterproof!

And that's the way it goes.
That's the way my life has been.
Tried being nice, but it didn't get me far.

Did everything I could for
The only thing I cared about.
She left me, that's cool. I don't need her.

You don't know what pain is.
Pain is being thrown away.
Have you given it everything you've got?

So this is how it goes, huh?
This is what it's all about.
Well, line up everybody and take your very best shot!

I'm shatterproof!
There ain't nothin you can show me.
I'm still standing tall, so why don't you blow me?
Know what I'm saying,
What I'm saying is true.
After what I've been through...

So this is how it goes, huh?
This is what I get for tryin.
Wrong guy in the wrong life in the wrong world.

Well, that's the way it goes, well...
That's what I'm getting used to.
Everything's over now that I've lost my girl.

I'm shatterproof!
There's nothin you can show me.
I'm still standing tall, so she can blow me!
Know what I'm saying,
What I'm saying is true.
After what I've been through...

I'm shatterproof!
There ain't nothin you can show me.
I'm still standing tall, so why don't you blow me?
Know what I'm saying,
What I'm saying is true.
After what I've been through...woo!
I'm shatterproof!

Note: Right after Miller decides to go along on the trip, the remaining miners sing "Don't Be Stupid," as a warning. This can be seen and heard on non-U.S. releases of the movie, and can actually be downloaded from the Video section. It is also available on the Shatter Proof! CD Single at the CRAPstore.

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Don't be stupid! Wait until Spring!
The mountains in the Winter are a treacherous thing!
Just look at these fools, they think they can make it!
It'll be twenty below, and they say they can take it!
What a bunch of stupid mother...

(Cut to map of Utah and Colorado Territory)